The screams of my alarm clock pierced through my mind.
Jumping out of bed I rush to shut it off, only to bump the snooze button on the way to the off switch.
While this may sound like I’m kidding. A well rehearsed excuse to curl back up on my pillow top mattress and snuggle into my down filled blanket.
I am not kidding.
This really happened, and it really happens more often than I care to admit.
The downfall of this occurrence is that the five minute snooze gives me exactly enough time to have this heavy coffee pot up in the air as it smoothly fills the anticipating coffee mug that sits on the counter below it, and the alarm clock begins blaring its awful screams throughout the entire house again. I must then drop everything and run back into my bedroom to shut it off, in a failed attempt to do so before it wakes the children.
It’s a pain and I groaned the moment I realized I did it.
The alarm is such a terrible noise to begin with, then to have to hear it twice in one morning.
Ugh, it’s just too much for me!
With the early morning trials under my belt I returned to my room. Quickly made the bed and then flipped on the television to the news channel. There’s something about watching the news and sipping my coffee in the morning. I don’t do it often, but when I do… I feel so grown up. It reminds me of my mother for some reason. Sipping her coffee. Watching her news. Getting us kids ready for school. There’s just something about it that makes it feel like the “right” way to start my family’s day.
Typically, I’m not a news watcher at all. On rare occasion it’s nice to absorb the realities of the world around me. For the most part though, it’s like digesting a rotten piece of fruit. Who wants all that bad fruit inside of them?
So there I am. Sitting on the down filled blanket. Sipping the coffee. Digesting the rotten news.
All of a sudden the television reports that Richard Simmons is missing! (Apparently he’s been missing for nearly a thousand days, if I remember correctly.)
Who knew? (Probably everyone that watches the news, huh?!)
The whole thing reminded me of a pair of Richard Simmons shoes my mother bought me when I was a child. They were white. Walking shoes I suppose. Mother probably worked really hard to gather the money they cost. Filled with pride she handed me the shoe box.
And, I cried.
I did not want Richard Simmons shoes. Right then. Right there. I cried.
I had to wear these to school?! In front of everyone?! What had I done so wrong to be punished so severely?!
Oh the tragedies of being seven years old.
All kidding aside though, and despite my opinion of his shoes, I do pray that Richard Simmons is found safe and sound.
Other than absorbing the rotten news, I have been absorbing other things in the world around me. I’ve wanted to write about them a few times in blog posts but I always hesitated.
I hesitate because I scroll through WordPress on my cell phone, or I hear a tidbit of a concept from here or from there. I gather them, like a snow ball rolling down a hill. It all binds together, and I grow from each inch of the hill that I pass over.
The problem is that I don’t always remember exactly where some little nugget of truth came from or have the proper means to find the blog post of a fellow blogger when on my laptop to place the credit where credit is due.
So, the other day, (that I think was nearly a month ago) I began turning the concept through my mind that I needed to reevaluate the way I was living life. While I had a rough idea of how to do this, it was the things that were brought to my attention by others that helped guide me towards the right path.
For instance… weeks ago my church had a guest pastor who, to make a long story short, shared the concept of what we fill our selves with. Naturally, this was lead into a religious tone, but it doesn’t have to be taken as only that.
Think about it a moment, what do you fill yourself with? We all know that if we fill ourselves with a daily diet of Big Macs and Mountain Dew that we will feel sluggish, tired, unmotivated, and reeking havoc on our insides. If we filled ourselves with salad and water we will feel energized, alive, driven, and fueling our bodies to meet the demands of daily life.
BUT… food is not all we fill ourselves with. We also fill our souls, our minds, and our days. Are we filling them with things that will reek havoc on us or fuel our lives?
I began to become more aware of what I filled my life with and have slowly began making the necessary changes to better myself.
In the midst of becoming more aware I came across a blog post challenge that a fellow blogger wrote about. It’s called the 365 challenge. In short, he has challenged himself to conduct his choices with the concept that he only has 365 days left to live. This has brought upon some really awesome experiences he has shared as well as gave him the courage to make the leap into purchasing a home.
I also came across a blog where a lady detailed her winter bucket list. What a wild idea. A short time framed bucket list!
Somewhere I was also hit with a rather ugly truth. A truth that kind of hit me hard and took me a few days to fully process. I read, or heard, or something somewhere that ‘we will not do everything we want.’ It’s just not going to happen. You will not have enough time. You will not have enough resources. You will not have enough skill, nor education, nor talent, nor whatever it is you need.
At first this realization of the limitations that were being forced upon me were heartbreakingly depressing. At the same time though it was similar to someone telling you a character flaw that deep down you knew, but weren’t quite ready to admit to yourself, let alone face the truth about in order to take action against it.
I already knew that it was impossible to do everything, so I stalled. Just like a young child stalling bedtime, I was vigorously stalling the inevitable.
I won’t do, have, or experience everything that I want before God calls me home. Time is one of the truest nonrenewable resources we will ever have. That’s just the way it is. For all of us.
What a profound way to truly analyze your priorities. To motivate your goals.
To gain true focus may be one of the most wonderful gifts one could receive.
I sit here on my down filled blanket. Sipping my coffee. Watching my news. I realize that every second of every day is a choice.
A choice that will bring me further from or closer to the person I want to be, the life I want to lead, and the dreams I want to achieve.
Big Mac, or salad? Facebook, or family? Living to die, or dying to live?