Relationship Advice NO ONE Should Follow

I woke up to a variety of interesting things today. In retrospect, my coffee was likely the most interesting. (Insert laughter here)

On a serious note though, some of the articles I stumbled upon this morning made me simply scratch my head, but the one that left the biggest impression was about what “mature” women do and don’t do in a relationship.

My favorite part was how the author stated that mature women are financially independent, immediately followed by stating that mature women are secure enough in themselves that they are able to rely on their man…. well okay then.

Mature women allow their man to open doors for them, pull out their chairs, etcetra because it is a way for the man to show respect for their lady.

I can see this date going down perfectly in my head…

Lady sits in car while man walks around said car and opens her door.

“Thank you,” she says with a gentle smile.

They enter the restaurant where the man immediately assists lady with taking her coat off.

“Oh, thank you,” she says, rewarding the man with another soft smile and lightly bats her eyes.

They follow a waiter to a table for two where the man quickly steps ahead of the lady and pulls her chair out for her.

“Thank you,” she says again, “you are such a gentleman.”

The two enjoy a romantic dinner together under the dim lighting of the fine establishment. They sip wine and talk about their careers and hobbies, their life goals and their biggest dreams. The man is genuinely impressed with the lady as he admires the way the candlelight flickers in her soft blue eyes. She is a woman of such intelligence and natural charm. Much to the couples dismay the evening is coming to an end as the waiter gently places the bill upside down on the table. The man casually stretches his hand toward the bill as he thinks of the gorgeous beach he anticipates taking this amazing woman to, when suddenly…

“I’ll pay my share!” The woman barks at the man as she grabs the bill from his startled hand. He fumbles with his wallet pulling out his half of the expense for the evening. Clumsily he stands pushing his chair in, no longer sure if he should retrieve her coat or open the door for her.

The ride back to her house is a quiet one.

Did he do something wrong? Did she not like him? The night had been going so well, he thought. They pull up in front of her apartment, his idea of a romantic walk along the beach long since put in the back of his mind.

She looks over at him as her hand reaches to open the door. He hasn’t said a word since they left the restaurant. Had she done something wrong? Did he not like her? She had paid her way through the evening. Didn’t he see that she was a mature woman?

She looked over at him as she opened her door. He didn’t know what to say, or what to do. “Uh, I uh, had a great night,” he fumbles over his words, for the first time uncertain of what to say or what to do.

“Me too,” she says glumly as she shuts the car door, walks sadly up her apartment steps and into her home. As the door clicks shut behind her, she hears his tires pull away for the first and last time ever.

And that’s just how I see that one going down.

Really, I don’t mind the idea of women being financially independent or anything. In fact, as a woman, I much prefer to be financially independent as it gives me a level of security in knowing that I don’t NEED anyone.

But really, what’s wrong with needing someone? Sure we want to be with someone because we want to and not because we need to. We certainly want our other halves to be with us because they want to rather than they feel they need to. But once again I beg to question the concept, what is so wrong with needing someone?

In my opinion it is human nature to need others. We need social interaction and human contact. We need the comfort of knowing others truly care about us. We need connection.

What a sad and lonely world it would be if everyone truly didn’t need anyone else. It’s not that we’re weak, cowardly, or less than. It’s not that we lack any specific skills or mindset. It’s simply that we are human and a result of being human is that we were made to depend on other people in our lives.

Think about it for a second. Imagine if you truly couldn’t depend on anyone. Not your mother or father. Not your sister or brother. Not your uncles or aunts. Not your friends. No one….

So, who is truly more “mature;” the individual, male or female, that is solely independent ‘relying’ on absolutely no one in this world for anything, or the individual that has learned that a certain level of mutual dependence is simply another aspect of human nature?

I know, I took “financial independence” wayyyy out of context, but hey, y’all jumped on the train of my thoughts with an express one way ticket when you clicked on the link!

Told ya the coffee was probably more interesting!

 

 

 

 

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Categories: 2016

Tags: , , , , ,

4 replies

  1. I love this post!! I’ve been catching up on all of your recent posts and I will keep your family in my prayers!
    I don’t see anything wrong with a woman paying her share or whatever, but I believe that on a first date, the man should pay. As they get to know each other, they can then learn how the other feels about these and other issues as the relationship progresses. I’m all for being independent, but I can’t imagine a world (and wouldn’t want to) where we didn’t all depend on one another, that is family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I completely agree! I felt a little contradictory as I was typing it, but I too feel that the first date, even the first couple dates are on the guy even though I also think that both sexes should be equally independent as well as dependent on/from each other. Maybe it’s a carry over from an unacknowledged belief in tradition dating methods where the man asks for the date, so naturally they should cover the expenses? Or maybe it’s just cause we’re female and we really are that complicated? Lol 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • I couldn’t agree more with you Steph. There’s a fine line between a person who accepts an independent woman and a person who sees his responsibility in an independent woman.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m on my way to get some coffee as well. Haha

    Liked by 1 person

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