There I was, at the dawn of a new day. The sun sparkled through the windows. The smell of warm coffee drifted through the air. I climbed out of my bed ready to take on the world. My comforting blanket entangled my foot and… I fell flat on my face.
Yup. A new day had begun, and as I peeled myself off of the floor, I knew nothing would keep me down for long. Especially when I HAD to get up. After all, the coffee wasn’t going to drink itself.
My laid off husband was off to an interview at a nearby garage. It was a job I thought he’d enjoy. He liked to work on cars. Although, more so old hot-rods rather than my unreliable car he ended up working on all the time. Regardless, it was a job that had potential for his enjoyment. Those kind of things were important to me. Sure, any dollars an hour are better than no dollars an hour. Especially when we had bills to pay and kids to feed. But, it was important to me that he was happy doing what he did. It’s no fun waking up dreading going to work and, I supported the quest of avoiding that drudgery.
My freshly potty-trained daughter was fast asleep in her bed. She had been sick for days and as much as I missed her giggles and mischief, I knew her body needed to rest. And rest it has, for most of the day, for days lately.
I took a sip of my coffee and made my bed, being sure to give my blanket the evil eye that it so very much deserved. And then I sat. Sat there on my bed. Me and my blog, in the silence of our brand new day….
But what would I do with my brand new day? There were a few more clothes I could post online to sell. But that was really the last thing I was ready to take on at the moment. There wasn’t much of a point of going downstairs. I’d simply be sitting on the couch, no differently than I already sat on my bed. Even though the highs and lows of Christmas were behind me, Christmas vacation still lingered on. No college homework to obsess over. No running my son to school. No real reason to even climb out of the pajamas I was still wearing.
Sledding sounded fun. The laughter and joy on my children’s faces. The fresh air against our skin. The exhilarating refreshed feeling we’d have after our cheeks were red and our noses numb. But, Peanut was too sick to go sledding. And my preteen son had stayed up way past his bedtime playing video games. I imagined he’d take to waking up to go sledding about as well as a possessed soul takes to an exorcism. Besides, we didn’t have enough sleds anyway.
I sat there on my bed listening to the amusing narrative voice rambling on inside my head. I could be posting clothes. I could be cleaning the house. I could be doing laundry or dishes. I could be sorting through the toys, and books, and clutter to rid our home of the unneeded. I could be reading that health book sitting on my TV stand waiting for me. I could be doing plenty of things. But, none of it was what I wanted to be doing. What did I want to be doing?
That’s when it hit me, like being blindsided by a snowball… I was bored.
I hated being unimaginably busy. I hated having so much to do that I struggled to think straight. I hated feeling overwhelmed. I also knew that the majority of the time I completely did it to myself. I don’t say no easily. Even when I really, really have so much going on… I still take on more the instant someone asks. It’s a problem, I know.
Truth of the matter though, being bored wasn’t a whole lot better.
I needed to work on knowing my own limitations. To learning how to say no sincerely. But, I also needed to learn how to relax. I needed to learn how to do… nothing.
It’s not really that I didn’t know how. I’ve been doing nothing quite well for a few days now. I’ve sat, absorbed into the ridiculously silly stupidity of a teenybopper series for two days straight. Yep, I totally Netflix binged the hell of that series. 5 seasons, in two days… that’s gotta be some kind of record.
Sometimes, we just need that. To do nothing. To recharge. To re-coup. To watch a meaningless show for absolutely no purpose. After our blankets body slam our faces into the floor, sometimes, we just need to lay there for a moment, a split second, so that we can pick ourselves back up and face the brand new day that lays ahead.
Sometimes, doing nothing is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
Other times, we’re just overly bored and need to get off of our blogs and go do the laundry already….