It has been nearly three weeks since I have last posted. Some of you may be asking, wondering, worrying about my whereabouts. Maybe, you haven’t even noticed my absence. Possibly, I’m okay with either truth….
Three weeks ago we were issued a 20 hour eviction notice to vacate our home, with no where to go.
I had just gotten home from picking up my son from school. My husband, just pulling in the driveway from running errands. Taped to our front door was a notice to be out by noon on Friday. It was 4pm, Thursday.
I walked into my room, dropped my head onto my arms, and fought back the tears welling in my eyes. My husband paced the floor. Our minds raced as our mouths remained silent, asking the same questions. What do we do? Where do we go?
We currently had four people in the home with jobs nearby and one child in school. Even if they could help, could let us all stay with them for a short time, our nearest family and friends were over an hour away. We would lose everything if we moved that far.
To make a long story extremely short in comparison, my husband called the deputy that issued the notice and got it extended. He then called the lady that owned the home we had planned to purchase for cash in several months and worked out a payment arrangement. We then, got to work.
The home, a two story and full basement, had sat empty for over ten years. It was waste deep, throughout, with debris. Electrical and plumbing had deteriorated. Days turned into weeks as we worked from sun up to sun down cleaning, fixing, and moving. Everything was put onto the back burner. Our home became our main focus, our top priority.
Three weeks later, I sit on my bed typing you this blog post with the radio playing in the background. Doing homework by candlelight, not showering for a week, going without the simplest of necessities is becoming a reality of the past. Life was flipped upside down, and as is usual with these situations, I learned a thing or two through the experience.
I had gotten to the point that I was so “busy”. My time was consumed and I struggled to get it all done in one day, one week, one month. Then this happened and nothing was done but housecleaning. Even our daily obligations of work and school was met with the least amount of effort necessary.
I used to work to build this blog. Writing feverishly, both because I enjoyed to and because it helped it to grow. I stressed over the few likes to the Facebook page my blog has, the few followers it had gained. I thought about ways to redirect my blog, to be more inspirational and thought provoking rather than simply a rambling diary of my thoughts. Say I did that. Say I gained a mass following and created the ultimate in successful blogs. Say I became better, bigger than WordPress itself. What would I really gain?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
If we think of our time like it’s money that we spend. I am spending a great fortune to create something that really doesn’t give me anything in return. So you like me, you follow me. Big deal. No offense, I like you all too, I want to know you and for you to know me. But at what cost? My time with my husband? With my children? Who would you rather know better, me or your kids? Yeah, me too….
Granted, my blogging has helped me in many ways. It’s helped me deal with issues that I just couldn’t deal with alone. It helped me to talk about things that I held buried inside. It helped me to open up and talk about real issues with the people around me.
I don’t intend to abandon my blog. Nah, I enjoy it too much to do that. I even have an inbox full of Blogging 201 and Writing 101 assignments to fill your readers with, that I am looking forward to digging into. But, it has altered my focus. My blog, that’s not where “its” at for me. That’s not what I want to spend the large amount of the daily budget God gives me. This is not my purpose, and I’m okay with that. If it grows, awesome. If not, that’s awesome too.
I just, don’t care anymore. Don’t care if I post consistently or not. Don’t care if I don’t get to reading all of your posts each day. Don’t care if my view counts are raising. I just don’t care….
Maybe I’m just worn out from all that cleaning and fixing and moving.
Anyways…. Here’s to new beginnings! And… to a marvelous Sunday!!!