No Middle Ground

Recently I have contemplated what the true meaning of compromise in the context of a relationship really means.

According to Oxford Dictionaries; compromise : [ ˈkämprəˌmīz ]: NOUN: an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions: “an ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise a compromise acceptable to both”

Does it simply mean that I’ll do the cooking if you do the cleaning? Or I’ve got laundry this week babe, you take it next week? Or, I’d really like to go out for Chinese and you’re feeling more like a KFC night, how about we grab a pizza instead?

What about the big things? Things such as, I don’t want anymore children. Well, I do. How do you compromise that? Or having two complete opposite views on financial decisions? Or child rearing? Or religion? Does compromise truly resolve any of these issues between two individuals within a relationship? Or does one of the individuals simply compromise their own beliefs, their own opinions, their own desires, their own voice, simply to appease the more aggressive of the two? And what happens to said individual when it moves past always eating out where the other chose, past living in the home the other chose, past painting the living room walls the color that the other chose, past raising the children in the way that the other chose, past living the life that the other chose….

When does compromising with a spouse finally reach the point where you have simply compromised yourself into nothing? When you reach the point that even mentioning a trivial concept that disagrees with the others point of view is deemed as wrong. Dismissed. Your words cut off. Voted null and void by the masses. When you nearly need to scream at your partner, “I am not always right, but neither are you!” To which you simply get an eye roll and a reference to the anal bitch attitude you have been described as having, so often. Too often. When you begin to ask…

How do you compromise the uncompromisable?

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Categories: 2015

Tags: , , , ,

3 replies

  1. I’ve made a post about this very thing in the past. Compromise isn’t compromise if only one person does the compromising. At that point, the constant compromiser is merely a doormat. Compromise is both coming to an agreement, not giving away your soul to keep the peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree. And since writing this I think the uncompromisable situations simply fall into the sacrifice category and with sacrifice ya gotta be your own best friend. Know yourself better than anyone else does, know where your line is, know what you can sacrifice without destroying your soul. Because, in relationships, if you don’t know, it seems you only find out when it’s too late. Love requires sacrifice, but I fear too often, sacrifice becomes resent and there’s no room for love in the resentful. <- whew, that was deep for 10am 😉 lol

      Liked by 2 people

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