Each week, on Monday, I will publish a post reflecting on the previous week. Depending upon the week, will depend upon what direction each post will take. Each will follow one specific theme; I Made It! Monday. Setting goals and periodically checking in on them is a great motivator for growth! I encourage all of you to check out this challenge to see if it is a good fit for you.
This week has been an incredible one in the area of self-reflection, growth, healing, all of the above. This week, I have grown significantly…
- I broke the silence about my abortion~ I provided many others with insight they did not have before. I provided MYSELF with insight that I did not have before. I have opened the doors to a massive potential of growth, personal and otherwise. I have learned how to open up and be more honest in my every day interactions. This continuously blesses me with new opportunities for growth. This action, this accomplishment, has affected me so deeply, so much, that I could NEVER explain it all in one post, let alone, one little dot in my bullet list. But, you have seen it, and will continue to see it through my comments and posts.
- I breathed~ I took all of your advice to heart… and, I breathed. I stepped away and cleared my head. I had a three hour Sponge Bob watching marathon with my four year old daughter. I will NEVER be too old for Sponge Bob! I laid there, kicked back on my bed, my arm gently wrapped around her. We laughed at all the funny parts. We ate popcorn. We gasped and said, “Did you see that?!” We were together. I feel so lucky to have such great kids in my life. And… I didn’t feel guilty about that. I simply, felt blessed. But most of all, I knew that it was okay to feel that way. (Okay, now I’m getting all teary eyed!)
- I found the name and direction for my blog~ I went to my moms, a two hour drive, one way. Visiting is not something that we can do too often. I used to go to my mom’s house every morning for coffee…. I miss those times. It’s nice to re-create them every now and again. We talked. I told her about my difficulty finding the right “name” for my blog. How nothing felt “right”. You know how, when you find the right name, it’s just right. It’s the name that was meant to be. Nothing felt, “right”. And then she said, “I think you should change it back to Rah’s Mirror”, the name I had originally started out with…. (DUH! Most of the time, the answer is so simple that we can’t even see it past our problems!)
(Rah is my ‘family’ nickname. You know, the one that your momma and sisters call you. The one that only your closest friends call you. I had started my blog with this name for the exact reason that I changed it back to this. But, when double checking if the name was still not being used anywhere else, I did find this online, the definition is ironically suiting, although completely a coincidence: “Ra’s mirror (originally the Mirror of Ra, later the Lar Mirror) is a recurring item in the Dragon Quest series. It is typically used to reveal a character’s true form.” Pretty cool piece of info!)
- I enrolled in college~ Awhile back I had mentioned that I was very lost in making college decisions. Wednesday, I walked into a career counselor’s office and said, “I want to get a degree, but have no clue what degree.” They pointed me in all the right directions and we are now, together, well on our way to finding the exact educational path that I want to be on. (More info on that next Monday!)
(Makes me laugh a little on the inside… People so easily helping you with exactly what you need, when you admit that you need a little help.)
- We became Facebook official!~ If you missed that quick little post, here’s a link to this blogs’ Facebook page, Rah’s Mirror. My goal with this page is to open up our lines of communication and to fill in the pieces. To share quick glimpses into the life (my life) behind this blog, with status updates, memes, maybe even some real life pictures. Sharing the amusing things, enticing things, thought provoking things. And of course, to offer my new post links right on your news feed. So, go like it!
(Really, please go like my page if you’re interested, it only has like 6 likes right now, and one is me… it can really use some love!)
- Discovered that I NEED time management in my life~ I have yet to find exactly what will work best for me. I know, now, that time management is a serious problem for me. It’s much easier to solve a problem when you know what the problem is. I am working on it. I have even… (drum roll please)… written, and scheduled 3 posts for the coming week! One, being this one. And the other two posts, that I am so EXCITED that I had to FORCE myself to schedule and not impulsively publish them, will be out first thing Wednesday and Friday morning!
I’ve grown a lot this week. I look around my home (still a mess by the way) and I feel lighter. I look at my children and I feel, more at peace. I feel… more grounded. Best of all though, I know that it’s okay to feel good.
THAT, is a huge deal to me!
But… I have this small little fear, deep down in the back of my mind, creeping along the edges, that this is a temporary feeling. A temporary growth. That I will fall back on darker days. That, I won’t have the clarity that I have at the moment. A fear of failure, of slipping back into old habits, old ways.
This is a normal part of growth. The ‘too good to be true’ syndrome. (Yep, I just pretended to name a syndrome.) Without this fear keeping us on our toes we might have nothing to keep us from slipping back…. If I could give all of you only one thing that I learned from this past week, it would be…
To not let fear hold us back but to let it push us forward, push us… to succeed!