Dear Cheating Ex,
Really?! You got turned down by Ivannah Funkalot?! She’s a sure thing for anyone!
It’s a shame you were trying to hit it while you were whispering me promises of happily ever after, again…. And there I was, promising you I’d always be here.
I don’t know whether to laugh, or cry.
For so long, I thought that I really needed you… but, I’ve got the Comedy Channel. I think I’ll be just fine!