I tried to ignore it. I tried to go about my life letting this one moment in history be but a brief moment of my conscious. I sealed my lips. I bit my tongue. I did everything I could to simply stay out of it.
But for crying out loud! Come on already!
I cannot sign onto Facebook without it being shoved in my face. I cannot turn on my television without it being forced into my day. I cannot listen to the radio. I cannot check out online news. I cannot even walk down the freakin’ street without seeing, hearing, reading something about it.
So, it is now legal for same sex couples to become united in marriage. Great! Wonderful! Hoorah!
Can we go back to our regularly scheduled programing now?
No. I’m not saying that “gays make me puke”. I’m not saying “you’re all doomed to burn in hell”. I am just saying that it is being preached out already. Like the same ol’ song being played over and over again on the radio. And really, it seems to be breeding more hate rather than less…just throwing that out there.
In all honesty, I do not think it is okay. I think it is a sin. There, I said it. Get the pitchforks out.
What I am NOT saying is that I have not sinned, or do not sin. I am not saying I am perfect. I am not pointing fingers. I am not saying that Christians should rule the world and there is no right way but our way. ALL I am saying is that I think it is a sin. (emphasis on I)
What is the problem with that? Why is everyone who states that, even politely, being attacked on social media? I thought this whole LGBT movement was about love, acceptance, freedom, lack of judgement. How dare we bigots voice our opinions! How dare we share our beliefs!
Really?! Why, because only yours matter? Fuck that. (See, told you I sin too)
But that’s not even my point, that’s just my rant. The complete hypocrisy in the entire ordeal. I detest hypocrisy. I don’t care if your gay. I don’t care if your Wiccan. I don’t care if your Christian. But for real, if you should be able to speak about your opinions and your beliefs without being judged and attacked then by golly so should I!
And this CRAP about using the phrase God is love. So love is suddenly the supreme ruler of all deciding factors? My favorite… If you’re sooo Christian than you should be accepting of us cause that’s what your little bible says, to love others. No. That is NOT what love is!
Biblically, this is the definition of love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13, NIV)
Where does this state that love is acceptance?
I will love my neighbor, sister, brother, son, daughter, aunt, uncle, best friend, worst enemy, if they are in a same sex relationship. Love is not acceptance. I will still, if asked, tell them that I believe what they are involved in is a sin. I will even tell them, if they asked, that I am not saying that I am sin free. And I will even tell them, undoubtedly whether they ask or not, that I am ALWAYS here for them and will ALWAYS love them. I will be patient with them, I will be kind to them, I will protect them and trust them, and… you kinda get the point?
But… I will NOT tell them that I think it is okay.
I love my children beyond any measure I could fathom to begin to imagine. I would die for them in a heartbeat. In fact, I love my children so much, so deeply, so beyond measure, that it quite could possibly be one of the deepest sins I commit on a daily basis. Place no love above mine, says God. Or something like that. I’m not an expert on the bible, I’m sorry. But it’s in there. I’ll admit, I love my children more than I do God, and that’s something I need to work on. The good part, I fully, to the depth of my soul, understand God’s love for me. God is love. I can only imagine if me, simple ol’ human me, can love my children that deeply, how much does the all mighty God love me as His child!
But this isn’t about preaching to you. As much as I’m sick of having your beliefs shoved down my throat, I am NOT a person that feels it’s okay to do the same to you.
My whole message is that acceptance and love are not one in the same. This message will be described with the use of my children, since they are my deepest, truest love. (As confessed above)
I love my children, as I stated, before I went off course. I have two biological children and four stepchildren. From those four stepchildren I have three grandchildren. I love each and every one of them to the core. In their own words each one will, at one point or other in their lives, claim i’m mean, a bitch, hate them, love my “real” children more, any different form of expressing “you don’t accept me” that you can think of. I am sure all of my children have thought or expressed this at some point in time.
Truth is, they are 100% correct in their feelings. I will not accept everything they do. I will love them. I will be there for them. If they need me, I will move mountains to be with them. But, I will not sit back and tell them that I believe something is okay when I do not believe that. That’s not loving my children. That’s not even helping my children. That’s HURTING my children.
For example; my dearest first biological child is nearly ten years old. He is entering the wonderful world of pre-teen behavior. Let me tell you, this kid is a pro at the pre-teen crap. The biggest problem I can think of, at the moment, is his love of the video game world. He would stay up for days on end until his body shut itself down, if I let him. And let me mention, it’s not simply Minecraft and Mario Brothers that the kid wants to play. It’s awful, bloody, I want my innocent baby back, type of games. Now, being the imperfect mother that I am, I turn a blind eye to some of these games. Not because I believe it is okay, but to save myself the fight, the heartache of his momentary hatred. Why? Because I’m a sinner too and mommy-hood is hard sometimes.
Now, upon the current theory I am hearing online, I should accept that he is a “gamer” and just let him be. I should not make him go to bed at a decent time. I should not nag endlessly that he NEEDS to go to sleep and stop getting back up after I go to sleep to play those dang nabbing games. I should not threaten to wipe his life clean of electronics if he doesn’t get it together, like yesterday. I should give him a hug and tell him I accept him no matter what.
In fact, I’m sure as he ages he will be introduced, somewhere, by the concept of drug use. I myself am battling with nicotine addiction. (gasp! she sins again!) He will most likely try a cigarette and God forbid, there is a high chance (due to his mother and other influences around him smoking), that he will become addicted himself. I shouldn’t be attempting to stop this. I shouldn’t be constantly dropping hints of what to say when he is asked to try that first smoke. I should not have taught my youngest to say the words, “smoking stinks”, nearly as soon as she could talk. (yeah, I totally went with the brain washing idea on that one). Pretty much, I should simply accept what he wants to do and who he wants to be. In fact, I should be running right out to buy him a pack of smokes right now. And why stop at the smokes, lets load up the bar too. Screw it, lets just bring in the whole truck load of every drug possible. How DARE I prevent my children from knowing what is all out there, from knowing what choices they truly have, from expressing what and who they want to be and do?!
Why would I ever prevent my child from knowing what is out there and letting them decide what to believe in themselves?! Because I fucking love them! That’s why. That’s why I will not accept if they want to stay up all night for days on end. I will not allow them to smoke, despite the fact that I know darn well that if they chose to they will simply hide it from me anyhow. That’s not the point. The point is, they will know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I do not think what they are doing is okay. And God forbid that boy of mine does smoke, and does end up with cancer, you can bet your ass I will be right there at his side. Why? Because I love him.
Love and acceptance are NOT synonyms. They never were. They never will be.
I kind of zeroed in on the LGBT community in this post. I apologize, to an extent. The ONLY reason they were brought into this is simply because of same sex marriages recently becoming legal, that is what has caused the outpouring of this issue of misused wording. My issue is not with same sex marriages becoming legal. In fact, not to sound rude, but I couldn’t really care less. God gave us free will to love who we chose, for the sole purpose that we are meant to chose Him. (For a hint of my opinion on that argument) The same bible that tells me what love is, also tells me that I am to live by God’s law, not mans. So it makes no difference, to me, if same sex marriage is legal or not. If murder became legal, I would still chose to not participate due to God’s law. Same theory applies here.
It does put me in a moral predicament in a way. You see, I now have to raise my children in a world where they can legally commit, what I personally believe, is a sin. Granted, I will love them just the same. Truthfully, I’d love more to legally be able to keep them in good graces with God. Frankly though, that’s not my place. Here is where it ties in that my love for my children is almost sinful. I would gladly take away their free will if it meant they had a one way ticket to Heaven. In my opinion, that is what having same sex marriages illegal was doing. Not just to my children, but to all of you. It was depriving you of your free will.
So, same sex marriages should be legal? Well…. I honestly don’t know where I stand with that. With me, it’s more of a, this is the way it is and that’s it. I have a choice over my reaction, that is all. But in arguing with my one defense for same sex marriages, that it is allowing people the free will that they need in order to truly chose God, there presents other issues such as… shouldn’t we then, allow people free will to chose about everything? Drugs? Stealing? Adultery? Murder? I certainly don’t want that!
But this isn’t a post about whether or not same sex marriages should be legal or not. This isn’t even a post about if they are a sin or not. It is simply about the mistaken idea that love and acceptance are one in the same. This, personally, is a much deeper rooted gateway to sin than legalizing same sex marriages. Do we really want to teach our children that to love someone you must accept everything about them, good or bad? To never speak up when their friends are making a poor decision? To fear speaking out about their beliefs, no matter what they are, because to do so would imply they were not accepting others, not loving others?
Some of my best friends are Wiccan or Atheists. They know that I am Christian. I know that they are Wiccan or Atheist. And we all know, that if any of us are headed in the wrong direction that you can bet your ass one of us is going to say something, and then we are going to help that person get headed in the right direction. I will not shove my religion down their throat, nor do I accept them doing the same to me. If either party asks questions the other answers honestly and openly. We are patient and kind, we are not envious or boastful, nor are we dishonoring, we are not self-seeking, or easily angered…. We always protect and trust… in fact, I trust them to protect me, by speaking up when I’m doing wrong and NOT simply accepting whatever I chose to do. Why? Because… THAT is love.